Hi There

If you're wondering where I am, it's somewhere close to paradise and far from reliable internet connectivity.

I haven't forgotten you. I couldn't ever forget you. You'll get all three entries, don't worry.

Good old Holland, China. Neighbor to Houston, China, its chief exports include tulips grown in half the time, windmills built for half the cost, and a some very angry college-aged tourists who thought for sure they'd found the right Amsterdam.

Wait. This is...this is another one of those fake China postcards, right? There is no Holland, China! I've been had! I've been... Huh. Apparently there is a Holland-China, and they sell trailer hitches, landing gear, and kingpins. China's just sounding weirder and weirder lately.

Oddly, this reminds me of Ron of Japan. See, my family eats there with a devotion approaching the religious, and once I returned from Japan it was necessary, clearly necessary, for me to talk to our servers in Japanese as much as possible.

Our Mexican, Chinese, Korean, literally any other kind of person who is not from Japan servers. I'm pretty sure, had a tentacle monster emerged from the teppanyaki, my brother would've goaded me into asking it "Nihongo ga dekiru no?" as it savaged our poor, American orifices.