This was supposed to be up last week. Instead it got saved as a draft. I blame vertigo medicine.
Sure, the floors are sticky and the fridge is full of junk and I'm not even sure where the pizza went, but in the end you can look at an apartment following a party in one of two ways:
A lost security deposit
A trashpile of memories
Granted either way you have to clean, but in the latter case you have a deep and lasting connection to every piece of garbage you throw away! This pizza box? Man, do you remember how everybody cheered when the pizza got there? And this upended stack of wet solo cups, why that just tells you how fun Beer Pong was! And that dead body--
wait why is there a dead body guys what did we do last night
But yeah, lesson learned this week: I can throw a good party. Now I just need to figure out what the hell to do with the gallon or so of Mai Tai left in the fridge.
Jade Empire. Cable car, you say? You mean you didn't take the staircase and do the obvious thing? Jess. I'm ashamed of you.
"Not a good sign," Jess? Please, in high school we would pray for trees to look like that. But in this case I guess it's less a fun snowstorm than an "oh god, what are we climbing towards, will there be yetis" snowstorm. Thank god nobody got sliced open for warmth.
Nobody that we know of.