Not Much Today

I can count on one hand the times I've been angry enough to, after storming out, return to the place from whence I stormed to continue ranting. Usually these incidents involved alcohol. Never have they involved anger over not getting free stuff.

Homeless lady wants sample. Homeless lady really only wants the sample of coffee so she has an excuse to sit inside our cafe and "discreetly" (in her mind, anyway) ask our customers for money. We've thrown her out multiple times. Now we just refuse to give her samples.

Today's the breaking point. I get called obscenities so obscene Quentin Tarantino is taking notes. I hear all about her "work history," how she gets a thousand dollars a month, how we're all losers who need to get jobs.

I get told to kill myself.

All this in front of an eight year old girl. After we finally got the cops in and the lady out, the little girl asked her mom why "that lady was so mad."

If only we knew, kid. If only we knew.

Who's getting married today? I wonder if they'll have nice hors d'ouvres. I could murder a bacon-wrapped scallop right about now--

Eyes. On sticks. Uh. Well. I can almost see myself eating hearts, but eyes...eyes look back at you, man. Eyes watch you eat them. I'm not sure I could handle being judged by my food.